


one day you'll see (all the things that we can be)

by zouisclimax



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Louis, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 11:03:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4743959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zouisclimax/pseuds/zouisclimax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a problem; he's in love with his best mate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	one day you'll see (all the things that we can be)

**Author's Note:**

> another uni au bc i'm basic and hella predictable 
> 
> thanks to my main b, Lizzie, for reading/editing and commenting excessively. you light up my world like nobody else <3 
> 
> title from Childish Gambino's 'Sober'

Louis thinks he has a problem.

Well, no. He _knows_ he has a problem and a huge one at that.

The thing is, it was easier to deal with in the summer, way easier. Which, is insane now that Louis thinks about it because Harry has an affinity for stripping off his clothes whenever and summer is bright and hot and sunny and overall just a really good excuse to get various degrees of naked. But, it just was.

Louis can’t explain it. It probably has something to do with the fact that even though he saw Harry most days during the summer holiday, he didn’t see him every day like he does now that Uni is back in session.

He wasn’t forced to sit next to Harry every day for extended periods of time, whether it be for actual class or just late night studying in the library. He wasn’t forced to feel his thigh press against his the entire lecture because Harry doesn’t understand personal space. He wasn’t forced to see the obscene way his mouth wraps around words like _golgi body_ and _endoplasmic reticulum_.  

It’s really just insane how dirty those words sound. It is not his fault that his cock chubs up a bit at Harry saying them. Not at all. Blame science, anatomy, bloody _Biology_. Fuck the smooth endoplasmic reticulum, more importantly fuck the _rough_ endoplasmic reticulum.

Jesus, Louis hates this class.

He needs to drop out, of this class, of this fucking university, of this fucking universe. Why, just why, did he let Harry and Niall convince him to take this? There’s no bloody use for it. Louis wants to be a teacher, a bloody drama teacher! This is useful for their degrees, not his! He shouldn’t have given up a slot in his schedule for a goddamn Biology class!

He should’ve just told Niall to shut up and signed up for that Fundamentals of Directing class like he was planning all along. He should’ve locked himself in his room as soon as Harry walked in behind Niall the next day, his bottom lip stuck out and his best puppy dog eyes turned on. He should’ve punched Niall square in the face, the little twat knows Louis can’t say no to Harry, knows that he’s in love with Harry. That he’s in love with his best friend.

Louis hates himself, but he hates Niall and the way he abused his power and basically manipulated Louis into this even more.

“Louis? Are you even paying attention?”

“Of course.” Louis mutters, tearing his eyes away from Harry and the girl he so generously agreed to help memorize the organelles of the animal cell. He forces himself to glare at Niall instead. Niall just laughs, shaking his head and turning the page in his notebook.

“Yeah? What did I just say?”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” Louis says immediately. It’s wrong. He knows it is. They were talking about lysosomes, whatever the fuck those are.

(Okay, he knows what they are. _Think of it as Lysol, Lou. The lysosomes clean up the cell basically, yeah? Just like Lysol. Lysol cleans your kitchen counters, ridding them of bacteria just like lysosomes clean up your cells, ridding them of debris and breaking down waste materials_. Louis loves Harry too much, really, way, way too much.)

Niall laughs and rolls his eyes.

He flips Niall off and turns to face Harry again. He can’t stop himself from leaning forward, resting his chin in his hand as he strains his ears to listen to Harry mutter about ribosomes.  

“You have a problem, Louis, you know that right?” 

Oh, Louis knows, Jesus motherfucking Christ, Louis knows. But, it still doesn’t stop him from punching Niall in the arm.

\--

The whole “being in love with his best friend” thing didn’t just happen one day. He didn’t just look at Harry in a new light all of the sudden. He didn’t just see him one morning and think “hey, I wanna suck your dick.”

No, it was a way more gradual process. It started slowly for Louis.

He guesses it really started way back during secondary when he realized he was gay. And then proceeded to have a mental breakdown over it.

It was just hard is the thing. Kids are fucking mean and Louis was terrified of what everyone would think, what everyone would say. He wasn’t planning on telling anyone for a long time, even stayed home from school the next day to avoid everyone. But then Harry came over to check that he was okay and he just broke down, sobbing at Harry that he was gay and begging him not to hate him and not to leave him like everyone in his life seems to do.

Harry cried at that, held Louis close and told him that he loved him know matter what. That he would never leave him, that he was his best friend, gay or not.

Harry held Louis’ hand and kiss his head and it was in that moment that Louis really, truly realized that Harry was not only his best mate, but the best mate in the world, really, the best person in the world.

After that, Louis just started noticing Harry more, appreciating him. He noticed how funny Harry was, but in the stupidest, quirkiest way. He noticed how pretty Harry was, how well he was growing into his body and all the features of his face. He noticed that he found himself thinking about Harry’s lips too often to be considered normal and that he got hard when he pictured Harry biting them.

He didn’t think it was a big deal at first. So, he had a wank over Harry? He had them over all his friends. He wanked over Zayn’s cheekbones and Liam’s biceps and Niall’s teeth when he got them fixed (that was a weird one, he’ll admit that). It wasn’t his fault his friends were hot!

He didn’t consider that he was in love with Harry until about sixth form.

He was in the backseat of his car, making out with his neighbor Alex who was home from uni for the weekend, when he found himself frowning as Alex sucked a mark behind his ear. He didn’t know why everything just didn’t feel right, but it just didn’t. Alex’s back didn’t feel like Harry’s, the muscles weren’t the same, didn’t feel as warm. Louis found himself genuinely upset at that.

He was upset when he moved his hand to the base of Alex’s skull and he didn’t find curls to tangle his fingers in. Alex’s jaw didn’t feel as sharp as Harry’s when he ran a thumb across it.

Louis suddenly shoved Alex away and when Alex blinked up at him in surprise, Louis wanted to throw up at his eyes. They weren’t Harry’s. They weren’t green. They were blue, a dull blue. They didn’t shine like Harry’s. They didn’t make his tummy flip when they stared back at him.

Louis kicked Alex out of the car and drove to Zayn’s immediately.

He told Zayn he was confused, he didn’t get why he was thinking about Harry when he was with Alex. He didn’t understand why he was so mad that Alex didn’t have curly hair.

And then Zayn said it. Just said it. He looked Louis right in the eyes and just said, “Louis, it’s because you’re in love with him.”

Louis didn’t find himself floored by that. He wasn’t shocked. He didn’t scoff and tell Zayn that he was being ridiculous.

He just sat down on Zayn’s bed and took it all in. It was easy to see after that. It all added up. Whenever he received good news, like how he made it onto the footie team or how he managed to pass his chemistry test, Harry was the first one he told. Whenever he was sad, he called Harry because he was the only one who could always make him smile. How he just enjoyed being in Harry’s presence all the time, they didn’t even have to be doing anything, just being in a room with Harry was enjoyable.

He was one hundred percent in love with Harry Styles.

And it was a problem. A huge problem. Not because Harry was straight, no, Harry was openly bisexual and had been since secondary, but because they were best friends. Harry was his best, best mate and you just can’t love your best mate. You can’t. It messes everything up. Love can ruin things, destroy them in an instant. Louis couldn’t do anything about it. All he could do is accept.

“So, what?” Louis asked Zayn. “I just… I’m in love with him. I just accept it then?”

Zayn nodded. “Yeah, or you know, you act on it. Tell him about it.”

Louis did scoff that time. “Zayn, I can’t do that. You can’t- that won’t end well. I just. I’m in love with him now, but I’ll just keep it to myself. I’ll get over it.”

“Okay Louis, but you can just tell him, yeah? Just talk to him. I’m sure it’ll go well, he could fee-”

Louis shook his head and cut Zayn off. “Stop. Don’t do that. He doesn’t. He can’t. There’s no way and you know it.”

“Louis.”

Zayn kept trying to protest and tell Louis different, but Louis knew it was futile. Harry didn’t love him, at least not like that. They were best mates and nothing more.

Louis loved Harry Styles. He accepted it. It was a thing, but it couldn’t _be_ a thing. He kept to himself and just told him that he would get over it, he just had to take things one day at a time.

\--

Louis’ been taking things one day at a time for years now. They are in their second year of uni and Louis is still head over heels for Harry.

It’s getting fucking difficult to deal with. Harry’s so goddamn perfect and it physically pains Louis to see him smile so wide at him.

He’s too beautiful. It should be illegal.

Louis hates him. He totally hates him.

“I’m so proud of you, Lou.” Harry grins. “So, so proud!”

“Shut up.” Louis whines, shoving at him. Harry stumbles and almost knocks a girl passing by to the ground. He apologizes and helps her straighten up and Louis hates him. He fucking hates how much of a good person Harry is. Hates.

He keeps walking because he can’t deal.

Harry catches up to him, looping an arm around his waist in pulling him in.

“My little drama nerd is a biology genius.”

“Harry.” Louis whines.

“90.” Harry squeals into Louis’ ear. “My Lou got a 90!”

Louis feels his face turn darker and he pinches at his hip. Harry just catches his hand and twines their fingers together.

“A 90!” He shouts.

Louis scowls at him, trying to yank his hand away. Harry doesn’t let him, grips even tighter.

“I hate you.”

“I’m like a proud mum, I’m going to tell everyone. I already texted Jay.”

“Hate.” It’s not a big deal. It’s just a 90 on some dumb biology exam. It’s nothing, Harry needs to stop.

“You love me and I love you. My smart, smart Lou!” Harry laughs. “I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it!”

Louis rolls his eyes. “You are the smart one, you know.” He says as they exit the science department. “You got 100.”

“Only 10 points better than you! My little Lou!” 

“Stop!” Louis shoves at Harry again. “I’m not little. Or small. Fuck off.”

Harry pouts and wraps Louis up in a hug. Louis determinedly does not think about how he does feel small in Harry’s embrace. Nor does he think about how much he likes it, the feeling of Harry looming over him.

He tries to act like he hates the hug, but he only lasts a moment before he is hugging Harry back, nuzzling into his shoulder.

“It’s all thanks to you, love.” He whispers. “I would’ve failed if it wasn’t for your love of biology.”

“It’s so cool, Lou!” Harry giggles.

He rolls his eyes and looks up at Harry. “I’m trying to actually thank you, H.”

Harry’s smile turns softer and he leans down, thumbing at Louis’ chin. “I know. You’re welcome. I really am proud of you.”

“Thank you.” Louis smiles. Harry’s finger pokes him in the chin before he leans in. Louis feels his breath hitch, the air getting trapped in his throat. His stomach erupts in butterflies and he closes his eyes as Harry drops a kiss on his cheek.

It hurts. It honestly hurts. Louis loves him so much and Harry just doesn’t know. He knows it’s all his fault, but still. It hurts and he can’t have that. He can’t deal with this.

He pushes Harry away, making sure it’s equal parts playful and forceful. “Race you to Starbucks. Loser buys!”

He takes off running, doing his best to ignore Harry’s fond shouting behind him.

\--

They have a boys’ night to celebrate all their successes.

It’s good, fucking fantastic even. It’s great being out with all of his boys. They’re at a club and it’s loud and rowdy and Louis’ steadily on his way to drunk.

So, yeah. It’s great.

Until it’s not.

The decide to leave the booth they precured to dance because Louis’ fucking hammered and needs to move. Everyone goes, expect Liam, but that’s because he’s sober captain tonight, in charge of keeping them all out of trouble, making sure Louis doesn’t get in a fight again, to stop Niall from kissing someone’s girlfriend again, to make sure Harry doesn’t break himself, et cetera, et cetera.

The floor is packed and hot and sweaty and exactly what Louis wanted. This is what he needs, to be close to a random body and not have a single feeling for them. He just wants to move and feel and lose his goddamn mind. He wants to forget about love. He wants to forget about Harry.

He moves his hips against Zayn’s in tandem with the music. He lets Niall dance around him like a maniac, sticking his tongue out and thrusting his hips at Louis in the world’s most unsexiest manner.

He finds himself getting lost in the bass and Niall’s loud cackles and he thinks it’s working. He thinks everything is dark, hazy, and loud enough to forget about Harry. To forget how he ducked off the second they reached the middle of the swarm of people, but then he’s knocked forward by some tall bloke and he glances over Zayn’s shoulder to shout at the twat, and then he’s sees it.

Louis’ been friends with Harry since the beginning of time basically. This isn’t the first time he’s seen Harry with his tongue down someone’s throat, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less. It’s dumb, it’s so dumb. It’s all his own fault that he feels this way and it shouldn’t bother him anymore, he should be over it, but fuck. It bothers him. It really does.

It especially bothers him today because of the way Harry acted. He doted on Louis all day because of his exam. He held his hand, kissed his cheek, bought him tea and lunch, bloody _made_ him dinner. It was domestic and Louis let himself get too fucking caught up.

Something in Louis snaps and he falls back against Zayn. It feels like the final straw for Louis and everything hurts. He feels like nothing works anymore. His body is broken. He feels like his brain is melting and his lungs are crumpling. Zayn’s arms tighten around him and he chokes out a sob.

“Louis!” Zayn spins him around and Louis loses it. Zayn’s eyes widen and he pulls him close, yelling in his ear.

“Mate, what’s wrong? What happened!” His fingers are tight against Louis’ bicep and he’s grateful for hold. He feels like he could collapse, his chest is heaving and he can’t breathe.

Louis doesn’t say anything just shakes his head. He feels Niall move in closer and no. He can’t have that. If Niall starts coddling Louis he’ll really fucking lose it. And Harry would notice. Probably. Maybe.

Louis isn’t sure, he’s currently trying to climb into someone’s body, mouth first.

He pushes away from Zayn and stumbles toward the booth. It’s hard to see, his vision is getting blurrier by the second, but he needs to keep going. He needs to get out of here. Right now.

“Louis?” Liam’s instantly concerned as soon as he sees Louis’ face but Louis can’t find it in himself to say anything yet.

He feels Zayn come up behind him and the way he wraps an arm protectively around Louis lets him know he knows. He realized what happened. He saw what Louis saw. Louis’ so happy Zayn’s in his life.

“I’m taking him home.”

“You, but-fuck, what’s wrong?” Liam just asks shaking his head.

“Harry.” Zayn says. His voice is shockingly sober. Louis feels drunker than ever.

“What did he do? What’s going on? Did he hurt-”

“Babe.” Zayn cuts him off. “I’m taking him home. Watch Niall. Watch Harry. We’ll be fine.”

Louis can see that Liam is still extremely confused. It usually warms a spot in Louis’ heart that Liam is so slow on the uptake about certain things but right now it’s just making him mad. He’s upset, he’s drunk, and Harry doesn’t fucking love him, doesn’t Liam get that!? He needs to go home.

He lets out another sob and Liam closes his mouth and nods his head, standing to give Louis a quick hug and Zayn a kiss.

“Get home safe, yeah? We’ll talk and you’ll explain, right?”

Zayn nods and kisses him again before pulling Louis towards the exit.

“He doesn’t love me.” Louis finally finds himself mumbling as the chilly night air hits them. “Why doesn’t he love me, Zayn?”

“Oh, Louis.” Zayn mutters.

Louis lets Zayn manhandle him into a cab. He sobs the entire way back to theirs, ignoring the driver completely. He doesn’t care if he looks crazy. He’s upset. He has a right to look crazy.

Zayn all but carries him into his room, forcing him out of his skinny jeans and into a fresh shirt. He lift his arms when he’s told to do so and follows Zayn to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

It doesn’t go well. He’s crying to hard and the toothpaste is too much and he ends up throwing up in the sink. It’s embarrassing and Louis can’t believe he’s here, that he’s in this fucking state because of Harry.

He lets Zayn move him floor and he ends up falling asleep on the cool tile while Zayn runs his fingers through his hair and wipes the snot from his face.

\--

“Wake up.” A gruff voice huffs. Louis startles, moving too quickly, his head falling off it’s extremely bony pillow and smacking into the floor.

“Fuck.” He whines. That goddamn hurt. Louis did not need that. His head already feels like it weighs a thousand tons and now it’s throbbing, too. Great. What a fantastic morning.

“Liam.” Zayn whines from next to him. That explains the bony pillow. Zayn’s voice echoes and wait-

“Zayn.” Louis groans. “You did leave me to sleep on the bathroom floor, you did fucking not.”

“Shut up.” Zayn’s hand hits his thigh. “You’re impossible when you’re drunk. I couldn’t get you back up and then you wouldn’t let me leave you. This is all your fault. I hate you.”

“You both are absolute messes.”

“Liam, baby, if you love me, you’d pick me up right now and carry me to my big, beautiful bed. I miss it, it misses me. I need it. Please.”

“Liam, baby, if you love me, you’d pick me up right now-”

Zayn stretches his arm out and smacks Louis in the throat. Louis chokes, “God, ouch. Are you trying to fucking kill me? _I_ hate _you_.”

“You’re being a twat.”

“You’re a twat.”

“I wouldn’t carry either of you right now, honestly, boys. You’re rank.”

“But you love me.” Zayn pouts.

“I do, but you really need a shower. Come on, up and at it.”

Liam pulls Zayn up first, standing him against the closet door before pulling Louis to his feet. Louis’ head doesn’t appreciate the shift in gravity, nor does his stomach.

“I’m going to vom.”

“In the toilet, please. Not on me.” Liam pats his cheek and maneuvers around them to turn on the shower. “Who’s up first? Or you wanna go together?.”

  
“Oh, Liam. Gonna let me shower with your boyfriend? You do realize we would be _naked_ together, right? Lots could happen.”

Liam rolls his eyes and helps Zayn get his shirt off. “You’re funny.”

“As if I’d ever do anything with you. You’re gross.” Zayn scoffs.

“You’re ugly.” Louis snaps back.

“Lying is wrong.” Zayn laughs.

Louis sticks his tongue out and struggles out of his own shirt. Liam is right, he is rank. Jesus.

He manages to yank his jeans off and he stumbles into the shower, head first. The water’s cold still, but it’s better that way. It shocks his system and makes him feel more like a human.

Zayn joins him and they scrub away at themselves, taking turns washing off. It should be weird, showering with your friends, but they always shower together after rough nights. Mainly just too make sure they don’t drown or slip and brain themselves on the side of the tub. Weirdly enough, it was Liam that implemented it. He _over_ cares, that one.

“Don’t touch me.” Zayn mumbles as he shoves past Louis to climb out.

“You touched me.” Louis mutters, stepping out and stealing the clean towel from Zayn.

“Hey!”

Louis just laughs and runs to his room.

It’s too much though and he has to stop in the hallway, bending over and dry heaving. Zayn snickers as he passes him, smacking his ass and stealing the towel.

Zayn’s the worst.

\--

Louis bundles himself up in his comfiest jumper that definitely is his and _not_ Harry’s and a pair of joggers before heading to the kitchen.

He can smells the pancakes already and he’s thrilled. Zayn may be the worst, but at least his boyfriend is the best.

“How many pancakes do you think I can eat before I actually do get sic-” He cuts himself off because it’s not just Liam and Zayn in the kitchen.

Harry spins from his spot on the stove, tossing Louis the biggest grin. Louis’ stomach drops and he isn’t sure he can eat any pancakes now.

“Good morning, my Lou.” Harry drops his spatula and comes over to him, wrapping him up in a big hug. “How are you feeling?”

“I…” Louis mumbles. He looks over Harry’s shoulder as best as he can, standing up on his tiptoes. Liam looks helpless and Zayn mouths, “I’m sorry.”

“Hmm? Are you okay? I was so worried when Liam said you went home.”

There’s a pang in his chest at that. Of course Harry didn’t notice he had gone, that he was upset and crying in the middle of a packed club. Of course Liam had to tell him.

It’s all Louis’ fault. All of this. But, fuck, it still sucks.

“Yeah, fine.” He mumbles. “Got aches for days though. I should probably eat something, too.”

“Not to worry!” Harry beams as he pulls back. “I’ve made your favorite! Chocolate chip!”

Louis’ life is so awful.

\--

Louis only manages to choke down a few bites before it becomes too much. The pancakes, the chocolate chips, the milk, the Harry _petting_ his hair and then dragging his hand down to rub softly at the small of Louis’ back. All of it. It’s all too much.

Louis pushes away from the table so quickly he almost knocks his chair over.

He ignores Liam’s calls after him and just charges into the bathroom, falling to his knees and heaving into the toilet.

“Awh, Lou.” Harry coos, coming to kneel beside him. Fuck, this is just not Louis’ day. He chokes again and Harry’s fingers massage his skull.

“You okay?” Harry asks after a few minutes.

“Too sweet, I think.” Louis mumbles. He isn’t sure if he’s talking about the food or Harry. “Dairy wasn’t smart either.”

Harry laughs and helps Louis to his feet, flushing the toilet and leaning against his side as he brushes his teeth.

“All clean?”

Louis hums and walks towards his room. Harry follows him and he wants to cry.

“You don’t need to stay, Haz. I’m just going to go to sleep.”

“Nonsense.” Harry tsks, tugging off his jeans and crawling into bed next to Louis. “You don’t feel well and I’m your best mate. It’s my job to make you feel better. Now, give us a cuddle, yeah?”

“You’re not even tired, I know you aren’t.”

Harry shrugs. “I’ll watch something on your Netflix. Now, shh. Bedtime for Lou.”

Louis doesn’t even have it in him to protest anymore, just lets Harry pulls him into his chest. He closes his eyes and mumbles out, “Bedtime for me.”

He’s asleep before Harry even queues up Netflix.

\--

Zayn knocks on his door later that night, barely giving him a second before he barges in, Liam hot on his heels.

Louis knew this was going to happen, but he really doesn’t want it to right now.

“Can we not?” Louis asks, shutting his laptop and flopping dramatically back on his bed.

“No.” Zayn says firmly, crawling on his bed. Liam follows and nods.

“Double no. You have a hell of an explanation to give, mate. I’m so lost. Like, what happened? Zayn hasn’t had the chance to explain, plus, I want to hear you say it.”

“You know what happened, Liam. It’s obvious.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“Louis.” He whines.

“What? It’s not a big deal.” 

“It’s not a big deal?” Zayn laughs. “That why I had to practically drag a sobbing you out of that club, yeah?”  
  
Louis crosses his arms and looks away. Whatever.

“Louis, please.”

“It’s the same old thing, Liam. It always is.”

“So Harry was-”

“Yes, inspecting someone’s tonsils with his tongue right in front of my face.”

Zayn frowns sympathetically at him and Liam huffs. “Remind me again why you just don’t tell him how you feel? Like, I don’t understand. I never have, but now that it’s gone on for so long and you clearly aren’t going to get over it, why not just tell him?”

“Liam, I can’t do that. We are best mates. I can’t just… I can’t just tell him how that will feel. It will ruin everything. Destroy us.”

“You have to have more faith in your friendship than that, Lou. Come on.”

“Plus, Harry loves you.” Zayn adds.

“Not the way I want him to.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “According to _you_. All of us? No.”

“Has Harry ever actually told you he loved me? Like, was in love with me?”

Zayn doesn’t answer right away and Louis glares at him hard. Zayn sighs. “Okay, no. But-”

“Liam?”

Liam bites his lip, looking down at his lap. “No.”

“There we have it then.” Louis shifts and pulls his arms tighter against his chest. “He hasn’t told Niall either. You know why? Because he _doesn’t_ love me like that. We are best mates. Only best mates. And we will stay that way. I’m not going to tell him. I can’t. I just… I’ll get over it. I need to get over it.”

“How are you going to do it though, babe? How?” Zayn asks. “You’ve been trying for years.”

“Please, don’t remind me.” Louis mutters, dropping his head to his arms. It’s so hard. It’s so fucking hard. He’s tried everything. Hooking up with boys that look nothing like Harry, hooking up with boys that look sort of like Harry, being in relationships with whoever even looked his way. But, it just didn’t work, doesn’t work. Harry’s just always right there and he’s just so much better and he knows you shouldn’t compare people, but he can’t help it. He always does it and Harry wins every time. He picked Harry every time; he picks Harry every time. Eventually the boys he had dated just got over Louis always canceling plans for Harry and he got dumped and was back at square one again.

Louis sighs. There’s only one thing left for him to do. It was Louis’ very last option because he hates the thought of it. It makes his stomach twist in the most unpleasant way.

“I think…” He starts. “I think I just need space.”

“Space?” Liam asks.

Louis nods. “Yeah, I just, I think I need to distance myself for a bit. Just… maybe spot spending so much time with him. It’s probably not healthy and all that shit.”

“Well, no, probably not.” Liam reasons.

“Okay, so, it’s settled. I’m just going to take some space from him.”

“He’s your best mate, Lou. How the hell are you going to do that?”

The fuck if Louis knows. His head hurts too much for this shit.

He does nothing but flop back and grab at a pillow, smashing it into his face to muffle his scream.

He feels Liam pat his calf before muttering out, “I’ll go get the ice cream.”

Louis hopes for his sake they have a million tubs. He has a lot of feelings to drown.

\--

It’s not easy to “take space” from Harry, in fact, it’s almost impossible. Harry knows Louis’ schedule better than his own, like the back of his own damn hand. He helped Louis figure it out and he has a bloody copy pinned up in his room. (He has Zayn’s, Liam’s, and Niall’s, too, but clearly, Louis’ is the most important, he even got to pick his own color, the other boys were stuck with the boring ones while Louis got the vibrant blue ink). He knows when Louis works and he knows when Louis’ lunch breaks are and he knows the tree that Louis likes to sit under between classes.

The point is, Harry knows Louis’ life. That used to give him a warm, fuzzy feeling and if Louis’ honest, it still does, but right now, it just infuriates Louis to no end.

He doesn’t want to be this way anymore. He doesn’t want to be arse over tits for his best mate anymore. He wants to get over it and to get over it he needs space. He needs Harry to chill, to let him breathe, for like, five seconds.

So, he starts lying.

He makes up shifts at University cafe, claiming he’s on stocking and inventory duty, so he has to work in the back. This way Harry can come to the cafe all he wants, but never actually see Louis and prove he’s lying. (Harry’s not allowed to see Louis in the back anymore after that unfortunate incident with the cinnamon rolls.)

He starts to lie about classwork, claiming his professors are shoving everything at him this week and he really has to focus, so ‘sorry, H, I don’t think it’s a good idea you come to the library with me.’

He feels shit doing it. It isn’t fun lying to your best mate. He feels like a trash can. But, he doesn’t know what else to do. He just needs space.

\--

Harry believes all his lies for only about a week before he realizes what’s really going on.

He doesn’t get mad. No, he gets the opposite of mad. He gets sad. Because he knows Louis’ lying to him. He doesn’t say anything, but Louis knows he knows. They both know he’s lying but only Louis knows why and Harry’s hurt.

He can feel the way Harry looks at him and it breaks his heart.

He wants to make it better, he hates when Harry’s in pain, but he just can’t. He can’t because he needs to take care of himself first for once. He needs to get over this and then he can go back and be the best mate Harry really deserves.

Louis knows what’s coming after the few days of Harry pouting, but it’s still shocking because it’s never been at _him_. Well, it has been, but only once and they were 14 and it was stupid. Louis can’t even remember what it was really about.

Harry pouts and is sad for a while, but then he gets mad. Fuming, red faced with clenched fists. He’ll give the deadliest of glares and the cruelest of snarls. It’s so weird to see him like that, so out of character. It’s insane that he’s looking at Louis this way, like he could break his nose without a second thought.

It sucks, but it sucks less than having Harry look at him with those broken little doe eyes. He’ll take a punch over a wobbly bottom lip any day.

Harry’s anger has a time limit, too. He can only stand all those mean thoughts and feelings for a bit before he thinks it all goes to his stomach, making him “feel all icky and twisty.”  

Harry loves dealing with his feelings and talking about them, so confrontation is always the next thing on his list after his sadness and full blown fury.

Louis’ been scared shitless the whole week because he knew that it could happen at any minute and it finally does Friday night.

They’re out, of course they are, shoved in the back of a loud, rowdy pub in the world’s tiniest of booths. Harry’s there and Louis isn’t happy about it, but they do this every week. It is their ritual, their way to deal with the stressful awfulness that is university. He can deal with this because he and Harry aren’t alone. He has his boys and they are distracting and can keep him and Harry away from each other, so it’s all good. Completely good. Perfect, even.

Harry plops down across from him and he isn’t glaring at him, he isn’t pouting at him, he’s looking at him calmly and coolly and fuck. Louis knows what’s coming. And fuck does he want to bolt.

“Who wants drinks?” He shouts over the music, shoving Zayn out of way so he can stand up.

“We all do.” Liam says with a roll of his eye. Louis wants to tweak his nipple, but he’s too far away. He sticks his tongue out of him instead.

“‘Kay, then the usual?” He asks. Everyone nods and Louis sticks out his hands for the cash. Like he could pay for it all himself. Please. He’s lucky if he can pay for his own drink himself.

“I’ll help you.” Harry says warmly, smiling up at Louis. Panic sets in and Louis’ chest and he feels himself shake his head furiously.

“Nah, nah. Niall will, yeah? Neil is dying to help! Aren’t you? Come on, there’s a lad.”

Niall sputters as Louis pulls him to his feet and yanks him to the bar, trying his best to ignore Harry’s thoughtful frown.

“Why didn’t you let Haz help you?” Niall asks. “You’ve been avoiding him for like two weeks. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Louis shrugs. He hasn’t explained the whole thing to Niall, the whole ‘I need to get over loving him’ thing. It’s just, he can’t. Niall is Harry’s roommate. He’s Harry’s Zayn and Liam. Louis couldn’t tell him this. Plus, Niall’s a damned blabber mouth. He can’t keep shit to himself.

“Lou.”  
  
“Drop it, Ni, yeah? Let’s just get drunk!”

Niall sighs and looks at Louis sternly. Louis just waggles his eyebrows in response and drops the bills on the counter with a shout, “Bar keep!” Niall can’t help but break at that.

\--

Louis isn’t drunk.

He couldn’t find himself in it to actually do it. He knocked back a pint, but he’s only been sipping on his second.

He and Zayn have been out of the booth, instead standing to the side of the floor watching Niall try to pull. It’s hilariously entertaining and it keeps him away from Harry.

“He keeps looking at you, you know. He’s going to come over here any minute.”

“He won’t. He won’t have this serious of a conversation in a pub.” Louis scoffs, taking another sip.

Zayn shrugs. “Yeah, but he’d pull you outside for it. I’m serious, Lou. He’s going to do it.”

Louis groans and glances over his shoulder. Sure enough Harry’s looking, barely paying attention to what Liam’s saying, instead focusing on Louis.

He turns back around to panic at Zayn. “I can’t do this right here. I need to do something. To make him not talk to me! What do I do!”

“I don’t know?” Zayn asks. “You can’t make someone not talk to you, like they do what they want, like if they-”

“Shut up.” Louis cuts in. “I need to get drunk. Yeah, drunk.”

“You just told me you didn’t want to get drunk, like 10 minutes ago.”

Louis moans. He did say that. He doesn’t want to get drunk. He has to write a paper tomorrow and it would just be the worst to write with a hangover. He doesn’t think he could do that.

“But that’s the only thing that would stop him.”

“Then pretend.” Zayn says.

“What?” 

“Pretend to be drunk.” He takes another sip at his beer and Louis can’t believe what he is saying.

“Are we 12?”

“Louis, I’m just offering a suggestion. You don’t want to get drunk, but being drunk is the only thing that would stop Harry, so why not just pretend?”

And, okay. Zayn has a point. Why not just pretend. It would solve his problem. Louis lets out a laugh.

“Okay?”

“Yeah?” Zayn laughs.

“Yeah.” Louis grins. Zayn grabs his elbow and they head to the bar.

“Let’s buy a few shots and then nick some glasses from behind the bar. He’ll buy it in no time.”

“You’re a genius, Z.”

Zayn beams as he orders two shots of vodka each and they cheers before knocking back the first one.

“I feel like I’m in secondary.” Louis coughs, reaching for the next shot. Zayn clinks theirs together again. It burns even more the second time.

“Ah, to be young again.” Zayn coughs, motioning for the bartender again. It’s gonna be a fun night.

\--

It works because Louis’ a fantastic actor. It’s in his blood.

Harry sees him keep knocking back the “vodka” (Zayn convinced the bartender to fill the glasses with water with just one wink) and his face falls. Louis can’t help but feel smug as hell. He did it. He avoided the conversation for another night. He should get like, a reward or something.

He does feel sort of bad that Harry is upset about not getting to talk to him, but it only lasts a second because soon Liam is standing up and stalking over.

Oh, god. Liam’s going to yell at him. Louis _hates_ when Liam yells at him.

“You’re immature.” Is actually all he ends up saying, shoving Louis out of the way and ordering a round of shots for him and Harry.

“It was your boyfriend’s idea.” Louis slurs, keeping up the act. Liam sighs and furrows his brows at Zayn. Louis can tell that he wants to tell Liam they are just playing around and avoiding, but honestly, that sounds even more immature and Zayn knows that.

He just gives Liam a lazy grin and then a filthy snog.

“It’s just fun, babes.”

Liam just gives Zayn a quick peck and Louis a quick eye roll before grabbing his tray of shots and making his way back over to Harry.

“It’s just fun.” Louis says to Zayn. Just fun.

\--

Louis is exhausted by the end of the night. Pretending to be drunk is a lot more work than Louis ever remembered it being.

He’s tired and annoyed at how drunk Niall actually is and he feels awful for Liam.

Harry had ended up getting proper hammered, too, and him and Zayn were “drinking” all night, so everyone is drunk and Liam has to take care of them all by himself. Normally, they would never only make one person stay sober, but well, nothing about this night is normal.

He stays on his best behavior because of that. Listening to Liam as he pleads for them all to hold hands as they walk down the street and yells at Niall for running into a street, chasing after a dog.

He lets Harry fall all over him in normal drunk Harry fashion, even though he knows he shouldn’t. He lets Harry hold his hand and mess with his hair and he hates himself. He hates himself because he does it right back. He knows it’s wrong because technically he’s sober, but Harry doesn’t know that, Liam doesn’t know that, Niall doesn’t know that. Only Zayn does. But that’s one out of four. He needs to keep the act up for the other three. Plus, Zayn isn’t paying attention to him. He’s using his fake drunkenness to grope Liam in public.

“My Lou.” Harry coos as they finally get back to Louis and Zayn’s. He pinches at his cheek and Louis pretends to bite his fingers.

“Ugh, stop.” Niall moans. He pushes passed them both and stumbles onto the couch, pulling off his jeans. “Had a really, really fun night with everyone, but don’t talk to me tomorrow. Love you all you fuckers, but please. Don’t.”  

They all laugh, ignoring Niall as he shouts “I’m fuckin’ serious.”

“Are you two okay?” Liam asks. His voice is gruff and deep. Louis doesn’t even need to look over at him to know that Zayn has his hand down Liam’s pants.

“Beautiful.” Harry giggles, shoving Louis towards his room. “Goodnight.”

“Night.” Zayn loudly giggles. Niall moans from the couch and Louis pulls Harry into his room.

It should be weird. It does feel weird. Louis’ been ignoring his best mate for almost two weeks and now here they are in his room together. It’s awkward, but Louis can’t act like it’s awkward, because he’s “drunk” and damn, does he feel confused. His head is starting to hurt. He needs to lay down.

He makes it to the bed, but Harry wraps a hand around his wrist and pulls. He stumble back into Harry, slamming him against the door. Harry’s hands wrap around his middle and he squeezes Louis tight.

“Oops.” Harry giggles. Louis rolls his eyes.

“Let go, I wanna lie down.”

“No.” Harry pouts. Louis feels him push his lips against the back of his neck and he squeezes him tighter. “I like holding you close.”

Louis feels his face flush and he tries his best to pry Harry’s hands off him.

“Harry.” He whines. He plays it up a bit, making his voice go even higher just like it usually does when he’s drunk.

Harry hums against his neck. “I like when you say my name like that. All high, breathy, whiney.” He bites at Louis’ ear and Louis feels his knees get weak. He can’t help the way he pushes his hips back against Harry’s. Harry moans and his hands drop to Louis’ hips.

“Turn around.” He whispers in Louis’ ear.

Louis’ a weak man, so he does so without putting up a fight.

Harry’s face is so close to his. He radiates heat. He smells like the pub, like dirt, sweat, and beer. His eyes are bright and Louis can’t look away. They are mesmerizing. Harry’s mesmerizing.

“Hi.” Louis whispers.

“Hi.” Harry grins back. His lips are so pink and they look so soft. Louis… well, Louis can’t help but want a taste. Is it so bad if he wants a taste? He’s “drunk” and Harry’s drunk, so it would just be that. A drunk kiss between two mates. It wouldn’t be so bad… would it?

In the end, Harry decides for him.

Harry’s lips are as soft as they look. They are like plush, pink little clouds. Louis knows that’s a stupid comparison but his whole world is exploding right now. There are fireworks and bolts of electricity erupting in his heart and coursing through his veins. He can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but focus on Harry and how his lips feel against his.

He lets himself get lost in it for a moment, let’s himself get lost in Harry and how perfect this feels. But, then reality comes crashing back down. This isn’t okay. This is so, so fucking wrong. He isn’t drunk and Harry is. This is immoral. He’s taking advantage of Harry.

He pushes him away.

Harry whines and tries to press their lips back together, but Louis turns his head. Harry mouths at his neck and fuck, does it feel good, but no. Louis won’t do this. This is his best mate. He won’t take advantage of his best mate.

“Come on, H.” He whispers, pulling Harry’s head from his neck. “Bedtime for us.”

Harry looks like he wants to protest when he finally meets Louis’ eyes, but he keeps his thoughts to himself, just nods and lets go of Louis.

“Bedtime for me.” Harry sings, mocking Louis. Louis rolls his eyes as he guides them over to his bed. They really should head to the bathroom, most definitely to brush their teeth, maybe to piss, but Louis’ too tired and he doesn’t want to haul Harry’s drunk ass all the way there.

He forces himself to turn away when Harry tears off his shirt. He pushes off his own jeans and flops into bed.

Harry joins him a moment later, curling up behind Louis and nuzzling into his neck. Louis can feel Harry’s bare legs side in between his and this isn’t what he needed. This is the opposite of space.

He feels like crying. He got to kiss Harry tonight and it did nothing but affirm to Louis that he is head over heels in love with this stupid boy. But, he’s supposed to be off his ass. Harry’s off his ass.

Harry won’t remember this. Harry doesn’t love Louis.

Louis’ heart fucking hurts.

“Goodnight, my Lou.” Harry mumbles.

Louis tries to not to shake as he cries. He doesn’t want to wake Harry. That’d be difficult to explain.

\--

Louis wakes up with Harry’s head on his chest and his hair in his mouth. He can feel a bit of drool pooling on his sternum and it really shouldn’t be as endearing as he finds it.

He’s glad Harry’s still sleeping though, because, well. Louis doesn’t know how to do this part. He’s never faked being hungover before. All the times (really, it was only like twice) he faked being drunk back in secondary, he went home alone, so it was fine to wake up and act like everything was fine.

It shouldn’t be that hard. He just needs to whine a lot and be grumpier than normal, but, still. He’s running blind here.

Harry twitches on Louis’ chest so he squeezes his eyes shut again, pretending to be asleep.

Harry wakes up slowly, like he always does. It’s a lot of quiet, soft, stupidly precious snuffling and yawning before he sits up. He stretches and cracks his back and something is off.

Harry’s climbing out of bed and he’s humming?

Louis peaks one eye open and watches as Harry slides on a pair of joggers. He wanders over to Louis’ dresser and puts on some deodorant before leaving the room, probably to brush his teeth.

Louis sits up as soon as he’s gone because what? Excuse… this makes no sense. Absolutely no sense. Harry was utterly smashed last night so he should be brutally hungover and a brutally hungover Styles would never hum!? He would never even get out of the bed until someone dragged him. Or brought him tea or some water and pills for his headache.

This… none of this makes sense. It’s not making sense.

“Oh. Louis.” Harry says as he walks back in a few minutes later. It’s sinful how good he looks right now. And, that’s another thing that doesn’t make sense. Harry’s always beautiful to Louis, but when he is hungover his skin gets this pale gray and he is unusually sweaty.

“What the fuck.” Louis croaks.

Harry’s eyebrows furrow and he frowns. “What?”

“What the fuck!” Louis repeats louder.

Harry winces and rubs his forehead. “Louis, please. I’m hungo-”

“Don’t!” Louis interrupts. “Shut up. You aren’t. What the fuck. You aren’t hungover.”

“What? Yes, I am, Louis. What the he-”

“You were humming when you woke up. You actually got out of bed! You aren’t… oh my god. Did you fake being drunk last night?” 

Harry fumbles for a response for a moment before he shakes his head and crosses his arms. “Only because you were!”

Louis’ face falls. No. No.

He forces himself to scoff. “What? No, I wasn’t? I was so drunk.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Please. You’re my best mate. You think I can’t tell when you’re faking?”

Louis is scrambling for words. He doesn’t know what to say.

“Well… well, what the fuck?! Why were you pretending?!”

“Why were you!” Harry shoots back.

“I asked you first!”

“You did it first!”

Louis groans and flops back against the bed. He hears Harry move further into the room and the bed dips with his weight. This wasn’t how Louis expected this morning to go.

“Why were you pretending to be drunk, Lou?” Harry asks.

Louis huffs and rubs at his eyes. He doesn’t want to do this. Now, he wishes he really did get drunk last night. God.

“I didn’t want to talk.” He shrugs. “I knew you wanted to talk.”   
  
“Of course I wanted to talk! I want an explanation!” 

“I know.”   
  
“So can you give me one? Like, what the fuck have these past two weeks been, Louis?”

Louis doesn’t answer. He chews on his lip instead.

“Louis, please.”

“Why were you pretending?” He asks, shifting it back to Harry.

Harry sighs. “Because you I knew you were pretending. And… it was pissing me off that you were pretending and I figured it was because you didn’t want to talk and I just didn’t understand. Plus, I knew it I was “drunk” you would…” 

He cuts himself off and Louis feel the bed raise. Harry’s standing now, pacing around Louis’ room.

“I would what?” He asks.

“You would actually let me near you again.” Harry mumbles. Louis feels his heart shatter. He’s such a shit mate because Harry isn’t lying. He let Harry all over him last night just because he thought he was drunk.

“I’m sorry.” Louis whispers.

“Just…” Harry tugs on his hair. “Explain it to me? Please?”

“Why’d you kiss me last night?”

“Louis!” Harry huffs. “Stop spinning the questions back on me!”   
  
“Why?” Louis just asks louder. “Why the hell did you kiss me last night?”

“Why’d you kiss me back!?”

Louis’ heart thumps in his chest and he digs his nails into his palm. Because, wow, yeah. He did. He did kiss Harry back. Harry did kiss him. And they both weren’t drunk. There is no forgetting this. They actually have to talk about it. Louis feels sick.

“Why’d you start crying last night?” Harry asks softly.

“You heard that?” Louis gasps.

“Of course I heard it.” Harry’s voice is gentle and Louis wants to fucking cry again. He sits up, pushing himself back against the headboard and drawing his knees to his chest.

“Can you just… can you just tell me why you kissed me?”

Harry looks like he doesn’t want to and yeah, Louis can relate. He sighs finally, nodding slowly.

“Because I… I wanted to.” He says simply. “I’ve wanted to for a while now.”

“You have?” Louis sputters.

“Yeah.” Harry admits. “For… years now, probably. And. I just. You were right there. I couldn’t not.”

“You’ve wanted to kiss me for years?” Louis asks. His voice has to be so high, but he wouldn’t know. He can’t hear it. Can’t hear anything over the sound of his pounding blood in his ears.

“Yeah…” Harry whispers. Louis can’t help but start to laugh, actually fucking laugh. Because, this can’t be real. This is a fucking joke. Is this actually Louis’ life?

He stops laughing when Harry angrily gets off the bed. “What the fuck, Louis? Are you actually making fun of me right now?”

“No, no! God, no!” He stumbles to his feet and grabs at Harry’s wrist. “I’m just. This is a joke, right? This has to be.”

“No? Louis. I wouldn’t joke about things like this. That isn’t funny.”

“Fuck, don’t I know it. It’s just. That’s why I was avoiding you, H.”

“What?”

“I was avoiding you because I like you. I’ve liked you, for fuck, since like, sixth form? And it was just getting too much. I needed space because you were, fuck, I don’t know. It was too much. I thought I needed to get over you and I thought space was the only way it would happen.” 

Harry looks dumbfounded. “You’ve liked me since sixth form?”

When Louis laughs and nods, Harry groans, tugging at his hair again.

“What?”

“Louis, I’ve been in love with you since I was like seven. I thought it was pretty fucking obvious.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I bloody wish I was.” Harry whines.

Louis can’t help but laugh again, Harry joining in this time. He walks closer to Harry, stopping when their toes brush together.

“So, you like me Styles?” 

“I don’t think _like_ is the right word.” Harry smiles, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist. It makes Louis’ heart beat faster.

“Yeah? Is it because you love me? You love me, Harry Styles?”

Harry blushes and pulls Louis closer. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Huh.” Louis whispers. “Well, that’s all right mate, I think I love you, too.”

“Think?” Harry leans down, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“Know.” Louis corrects.

He feels Harry smile against his cheek and he can’t take it anymore. “Kiss me.” 

“You aren’t going to cry this time, are you?” 

“Fuck off.”

This kiss is even better than the first because Louis actually knows they both want this kiss. It’s perfect and wet and hot and Louis would feel bad that he hasn’t brushed his teeth, but Harry doesn’t seem to mind, shoving his tongue deeper and deeper inside Louis’ mouth.

“Let’s get these off, yeah?” Louis asks, dipping his thumbs into the band of the joggers and pushing them down. Harry steps out of them and lets Louis guide them backwards toward the bed.

“Wait, Louis.” Harry breathes. Louis falls back onto the bed, pulling Harry on top of him. He bites at Harry’s stupidly perfect jaw.

“Hmm?”

“I think, fuck. I think that if we are going to do this, we uh, we need to communicate better. Fuck.”

Louis nods, biting at Harry’s chin. “Definitely. Boyfriends should talk to each other. Not avoid each other. My bad, won’t happen again.”

“Boyfriends?” Harry grins.

“Boyfriends.” Louis giggles. “Now, take your pants off.”

Harry sits up and Louis struggles to push his pants down. “Aren’t we going a bit too fast?” Harry asks as he thumbs his own down.

“No.” Louis shakes his head. “Haz, I’ve been dreaming of your cock and this for goddamn years. Now that I know that you feel the same, you think I’m just going to go out there and eat breakfast when I could be getting fucked? You’re off your rocker, mate.”

“Okay, okay. Good point.” Harry kicks his own pants to the floor. “You sure you don’t want to like. I don’t know, blowjobs first?”

“Harold, I swear to fucking god.”

“Okay, okay.” Harry laughs.

Louis doesn’t know why he loves it so much that Harry already knows where he keeps his stuff. It shouldn’t please him so much that Harry doesn’t need to ask, can already reach over and get the lube and condom from his bedside drawer. That’s where most people keep it, but still, Louis loves that Harry knows him.

Louis loves that Harry _loves_ him.

“Hey, Louis?” Harry asks as he sets the condom down by Louis’ hip, shaking fingers opening the lube.

“Yeah, love?”

Harry blushes and oh, Louis is living the dream. Harry’s finally his. He finally gets to make Harry blush in the way he wants to. He gets to call Harry _love_ and _babe_ and actually mean it. Pinch him, he must be dreaming.

“I just. Like you said, I’ve, we’ve, both wanted this for so long, is it… Like, I know I’m barely gonna last no matter what, but can we slow it down? I feel like it’ll help me last, plus, I wanna just, enjoy this. Really, really enjoy this.”

Louis smiles softly and beckons him up. Harry’s quick to come, resting his weight on his arms by Louis’ head.

“Yeah, babe. We can take it slow. We can go as slow as you want.”

Harry kisses his nose. “Good, cause I wanna make love, not fuck.” 

Louis groans as Harry kisses down as his body. “You’re such a fucking dork.”

“Yeah, but, you’re in love with me.” Harry bites as his belly button and Louis gasps, hips bucking.

“Yeah, madly. Not sure why, though.”

“Hey.” Harry pouts. Louis rolls his eyes and bucks his hips again, his cock jumps and hitting Harry in the cheek, smearing precome across the skin. It’s unbelievable how hot that is. Louis’ going to die because of this boy. He just knows it.

Harry turns his cheek and sticks his tongue out, licking at the head of Louis’ cock.

“No.” Louis whines as Harry wraps his hand around Louis’ shaft and his lips around the tip. “I want you in me, not this.”

“I can do both.” Harry says, pulling off to kiss Louis’ cock, his other hand pushing Louis’ legs further apart. He feels Harry’s hand trail up the inside of his thigh and then there’s a wet finger prodding at his rim. Louis doesn’t know when he actually poured the lube out, but he doesn’t really care. All he knows is that this is actually happening and he needs to remind himself to actually breathe.

Harry continues to suck him off while prepping him, but Louis has to stop him halfway through. It was too much and Louis was going to come too soon. He didn’t want to come before Harry was in him.

“H.” Louis whines as Harry adds a third finger. Louis’ positive he doesn’t need one, but Harry’s big and he’s enjoying watching his own fingers spread Louis so fucking much, that Louis just can’t stop him.

“You’re taking my fingers so well, Lou. Fuck. My Lou. God.” Harry humps down against the mattress and that’s too fucking hot. Louis’ feels more precome pool against his belly, the puddle steadily growing with each curl of Harry’s fingers. Fuck, he’s going to explode.

Harry’s fingers brush against Louis’ prostate and he sees stars. He’s so goddamn close, he needs Harry right now.

“Please, H. Please. Now, please.” Louis whines.

Harry breathes out some mumbles curses and pulls his fingers out. He doesn’t waste any time, doesn’t even bother to wipe his fingers off, just uses his teeth to tear open the condom.

“Damn, Styles.” Louis groans as Harry rolls the condom on. “That was pretty slick.” 

“Fuck off.” Harry laughs, grabbing the lube and spreading it one himself. “I’m as slick as they come. Do you get it?” Harry asks, nodding at his dick. “Slick?”

“God, why do I even talk to you.” Louis groans.

Harry giggles and shuffles forward, kneeling between Louis’ spread thighs.

“Because.” He singsongs. “You-”

“Yes, yes. I love you. Shut up and fuck me already.”

“Yeah, it’s make love.” Harry corrects. Louis rolls his eyes.

“Make love to me then, Prince Charming.”

“Gladly.” Harry smiles, leaning down and kisses Louis as he pushes in. It burns, it burns so much, but in the best fucking way. Louis has to bite at Harry’s lip to stop himself from crying out. He doesn’t know what time it is, but he doesn’t want any of the boys to walk in and interrupt this glorious thing, this phenomenal thing.

It’s the best thing Louis’ ever felt, being split open by Harry. His dick is so big and solid and hot in Louis. It fills Louis up so well. He can feel Harry everywhere. He’s surrounded by Harry and he never wants this to end.

It does, though, way too quickly.

It’s embarrassing how fast Louis comes. He wants to blame it on how long Harry spent opening him and the fact that he sucked him off so hard and dirty, but he knows that’s not it. He came just from Harry’s cock. He was overwhelmed by Harry’s cock. And Harry’s love, too, probably, but mainly his cock.

Harry fucks him through it, his thrusts slow and deep. It’s too much and Louis’ too sensitive, but he doesn’t want him to stop. He wants to feel Harry pulse in him, to feel the heat as he spills in the condom (fuck, he can’t wait to actually _feel_ Harry come in him).

He whispers that in Harry’s ear. Whispers to him how much he wants to feel Harry fill him up with his come, how he wants to feel it drip out of him, how he wants to keep it in him as long as possible. It’s so dirty, Louis has never said such filthy things to people before, but he can’t stop himself from saying it to Harry. He wants all those things with Harry. He wants Harry to come in him, on him, mark him up, make him his. Louis’ desire for Harry knows no bounds. 

Harry doesn’t last long after that. His thrusts get quicker and shallower and soon he’s gasping for air in Louis’ neck and coming hard.

“Jesus.” He huffs, pulling out of Louis. Louis feels too empty and it’s like Harry can tell because he flops back beside him and pulls Louis close, kissing his forehead.

“I can’t wait to do that again and show you how long I can actually last.” Louis laughs.

“I can’t wait to go get tested so I can come in you.”

“Fuck.” Louis moans, rolling over and straddling Harry. “Come on, let’s go again, I can go again.”

“So, Niall wasn’t kidding. You two did just fuck.”

“Zayn!” Louis scrambles for the covers and pulls them around him and Harry.

“What the hell!” Harry shouts. Zayn’s standing in the doorway grinning at the two of them.

“I told you!” Niall shouts, leaping on Zayn’s back. “Li! Come see! They’re in love! They fucked and they are in love!”

“I hate you, guys.” Louis whines, burying his face in Harry’s neck. “We need new friends, babe. Like, ASAP.”

“Liam, come quick, babe! They are gonna kiss!”

“Oh my god.” Harry laughs.

“Is it appropriate to send this to your mums? I mean, you’re naked in bed, clearly having just fucked, which, yeah, mums don’t want to see that, but I feel like they would be happy seeing this.”

“They’d love it!” Liam shouts from somewhere in the flat.

“Come on, Lou. For our mums, yeah?” Harry giggles, pulling Louis from his neck.

“You’re gonna let them actually do this?”

Harry grins, big hands cupping his jaw, “Anything for our adoring fans.” Harry pulls him in and kisses him deep. Louis ignores them all then, ignores Zayn’s giggling, Liam shouting, and Niall’s camera clicking. He focuses on Harry and Harry only. His best mate. His boyfriend. His _love_.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed! my tumblr is under the same name, feel free to stop on by!


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